1
HocusLocus 1 point ago +1 / -0

I have incredibly good judgment. One, I married Jill [who is standing next to him], and two, I appointed Johnson to the academy. I just want you to know that. [silence] Clap for that, you stupid bastards! Man, you are a dull bunch. Must be slow here, man.

I don't know who Johnson is, but this was a 'manly' setup of respect-the-wife who was right beside him. When his remark was met by silence he was personally embarrassed in front of his wife and turned on the 'offensive' to the crowd to cover for it. Seems understandable, and these are not snowflakes.

If they had been WWII or Viet Nam era soldiers the presence of the woman in the room and the 'setup' would be recognized and would have been an immediate good natured uproar, who ever she was. Joe showing his age assuming this stereotypical response would carry into modern times. I'm sure it would still happen but he probably had just bored them to sleep.

1
HocusLocus 1 point ago +1 / -0

Orthodox Jews bleep it themselves when they write "G-d"

Build a bunch of boxes that loudly emit a brief 1kHz network censor tone when a button is pressed. Use them in churches, sermons, conversations. Then the 1k tone will become a universal one of many Names and even the most foul mouth comedians on TV could be perceived in a new context.

2
HocusLocus 2 points ago +2 / -0

Joe Biden: 43 reasons why we just can't debate tonight

1. I'm feeling a little bit sick. 2. Uber is at surge pricing right now. 3. I have to put a lid on campaigning early tomorrow. 4. I had a really long day after work, I'm exhausted. 5. That Barr is way too expensive. 6. I just really don't want to be hung over tomorrow. 7. It's way too cold to debate. 8. It's way too hot to debate. 9. I'm trying to be healthy right now. 10. Didn't we debate last election... like, isn't that enough? 11. I'm bloated. 12. I'm constipated. 13. I'm just not feeling sexy this week. 14. I'm really into Gone Girl right now. 15. I'm really into War and Peace right now. 16. Can we just NOT debate and say we did? 17. They put all of Gilmore Girls on Netflix. 18. I don't have anything to wear. 19. No seriously, all of my answers were lost in the laundry machine. I'm totally clueless right now. 20. I got bit by a rabid dog. I need to go to the hospital... get a vaccine shot... 21. I started a Twitter controversy and I'm avoiding the limelight right now. 22. I hear sirens so I shouldn't debate 'cause who KNOWS what that means. 23. I got one of those fancy manicures and my nails are still drying so... 24. I've developed a rare and highly contagious rash. It's invisible. 25. I left the country for the weekend. Be back Monday. Don't try calling me. 26. I'm really enjoying the way my butt feels on the chair right now. 27. My dog ate chocolate. 28. I know I don't have a dog. I'm... dog sitting. 29. I found a baby on my doorstep and I have to raise it into an irrresponsible adult. 30. I'm too attractive and I'm tired of being hit on for debates. Let me be smarter in peace. 31. I'm having a whirlwind love affair in my apartment right now. We haven't left in days. We're playing naked table tennis and listening to Fleet Foxes. 32. My handler is throwing up. I need to take care of him. 33. Honestly, I just don't want to put pants on. 34. I'd rather be asleep. 35. I'd rather be asleep and naked. 36. I feel like I've reached my social interaction quota for the week. 37. I have to Skype with my alien overlord tonight. He keeps weird hours. 38. Have you SEEN that show where they reveal the germs on bar nuts? 39. I saw this crazy 60 Minutes segment about terrorism and I'm trying to minimize situations where I leave my house. 40. My last Uber driver was really creepy... 41. Did you hear about the Uber driver who killed someone... 42. Kim Kardashian posted a new picture of her butt. 43. Things are happening on the internet. Sorry, can't debate.

~Shamelessly adapted from Buzzfeed: 43 Reasons We Just Can't Go Out Tonight

7
HocusLocus 7 points ago +7 / -0 (edited)
  • 1980: We hate trees! (paper ballot and hand counting systems still the norm in many places)
  • 1990: We love trees! (Slow but steady rise of stupid paperless touch screen voting at the polls supported by Sequoia, Deibold and others)
  • 2001: We love trees more than accountability! (After the Federal Election Modernization Act of 2001 paper replacement went into high gear)
  • 2020: WTF we really hate trees now! (let's sacrifice many more trees than would have ever been used in an old election)
  • Trees are cool unless we feel stealy-electiony.
5
HocusLocus 5 points ago +6 / -1 (edited)

I feel sorry for Dobbs because he kept trying to extract-with-pliers from Powell some broader opinion on the injustice and national implication of the case... she parried him nicely returning to the essential facts. Flynn is still her client, the case is still open and she is professionally bound to keep her own opinions out of the news. Nicely done.

Contrast this to certain attorneys for Kyle Rittenhouse who have been making some foot-in-mouth public statements. I don't mean case outreach, I mean the "shot heard round the world" stuff.

2
HocusLocus 2 points ago +3 / -1

Little St. James is pretty much a pile of upthrust strata-tilted boulders with a thin layer of rocky soil and scrub, I doubt it is possible to dig anywhere without hitting solid rock. All the Virgins were formed this way when massive quakes near the Caribbean plate tilted and pushed upwards. We once anchored near Fish Cay and I hiked Great St. James years ago before there was any development on it. Even small tunnels or underground spaces would have required massive amounts of rock cutting, even dynamite. I know people want there to be tunnels but why would there need to be tunnels anyway? During its heyday the party island had all the privacy it needed.

7
HocusLocus 7 points ago +11 / -4

I have glimpsed the Epstein Temple. All it ever contained was a crappy bed, crappy dresser and a piano. And a crappy vinyl dome on the roof that concealed a crappy air conditioner and gilded crappy concrete owls or other birds that were probably placed there to repel crappy pigeons and their gooey crap. You cannot even tell if the Temple has a a crapper to crap in.because the crappy drone operator did not hover directly over the roof and document every square foot of its surface to reveal wiring or plumbing secrets which makes for a rather crappy investigative process. If there was a crapper it was to the left of the main entrance and there would have been the required fart vent on the roof. But the drones did not examine that part, maybe they were scared of the empty crappy owl mounts.

4
HocusLocus 4 points ago +4 / -0

Peperidge Farm Remembers:

“On Wednesday night Donald Trump did something no other presidential nominee has ever done… he refused to say that he would respect the results of this election[boos] now make no mistake, by doing that he is threatening our democracy. He is basically saying hey — we’ve been around 240 years and we’ve always had peaceful transitions no matter who won, or who lost. Look, if you lose an election — I’ve lost elections — you don’t feel very good the next day do you. But we know in our country the difference between leadership and dictatorship, right? [cheers] And the peaceful transition, the peaceful transition of power is one of the things that sets us apart. It’s how we hold our country together no matter who’s in charge. You know I went to 112 countries as your Secretary of State [cheers] I saw the difference between what we do and what others do … I was in countries where people jail their political opponents, or execute them, or exile them or invalidate elections that they didn’t win... that can never be allowed to happen here. I believe that’s true no matter who you support in this election, whether or not you support me or you support my opponent, together we must support American democracy and the country that has given every one of us so many opportunities … and the best way to do that my friends is to turn out and vote!”

~(video) remarks of Hillary Clinton, 21-Oct-2016, Cleveland OH

5
HocusLocus 5 points ago +5 / -0

I bet Michelangelo's eyes would follow you if you walked off with his painting..

1
HocusLocus 1 point ago +1 / -0

First two seasons of the TV series were OK. I don't know how it has managed to hang on for 4. TDS escapism probably.

Now it's a boogeyman myth to scare irreligious low-IQ young women. Atwood got the costumes and the language wrong. Even when this book was written in 1985 it was dead-on about the treatment of women under Islam in the Middle East.

[the sound of crickets chirping for 35 years]

4
HocusLocus 4 points ago +4 / -0

EIS TUPJ = Tortola Beef Island Airport
TIST = St. Thomas Cyril E. King airport

both waypoints

5
HocusLocus 5 points ago +5 / -0 (edited)

The missing Land-O-Lakes girl is freaking me out.

Did they drown her?

To see her just gone -- now it looks like a Hollywood poster for a horror movie about missing children just showing a lake. You're supposed to imagine the children are in the lake.

6
HocusLocus 6 points ago +8 / -2

I tell people "Arabs are Semites too!" all the time and people just look at me with uncomprehending liquid cow eyes. Big as saucers.

Then I stand on the street corner defaming the office of the Anti Defamation League screaming through a bullhorn, "Hey fuckers, what's wrong with you? Anti-Semitic my ass! What about the rest of the Semites?!? Sons of Abraham, you bitches!"

4
HocusLocus 4 points ago +4 / -0 (edited)

I used to collect Snoopy Dancing GIFs and tried to make my own once, the Snoopy Dancing to Rule Them All. The sequence was first seen in the Charlie Brown films but it was only played on low resolution TV. Then when you zoom into Snoopy everything is fuzzy and all you can do is trace each frame with Bézier curves. Then you realize that not all dancing sequences are alike and even the animators took shortcuts. You learn about TV deinterlacing and how it is a bitch. Finally you give up on TV and need to mine dancing positions from hi-res scans of several syndicated comic strips that happened over months or years. Then make a sequence and horizontally flip some. This is a mighty fine Snoopy Dancing.

5
HocusLocus 5 points ago +5 / -0

Published in 1776, Common Sense challenged the authority of the British government and the royal monarchy. The plain language that Paine used spoke to the common people of America and was the first work to openly ask for independence from Great Britain.

Thomas Paine, COMMON SENSE

  • Introduction to the Third Edition
  • Of the Origin and Design of Government in General, with Concise Remarks on the English Constitution
  • Of Monarchy and Hereditary Succession Thoughts on the Present State of American Affairs
  • Of the Present Ability of America: with some Miscellaneous Reflections
  • Appendix to the Third Edition
5
HocusLocus 5 points ago +5 / -0 (edited)

Murkowsi is regurgitating Mitch McConnell's 2016 'public position', but even then it was just a partisan ruse to block Obama's appointee. If at least ~87% of Republicans approve of Trump's job performance, then just WHO is she representing here?

This unconstitutional and irrational mind-fuck where, during the last (time frame unspecified) both the Senate and President should tie hands behind their backs and pretend that fate has not just delivered to them a victory... is an insult to human endeavor -- both politics and sport -- where a team has the opportunity to score just before the clock runs out.

What is the ridiculous corollary to this in sport? The referee blows a whistle and waves 10 minutes before the clock runs out and they drop the ball on the ground and just do group hugs until the buzzer sounds? Then the referee waves hug-time 15,3,11,20,60 minutes early in the games after? What if you notice that the referee is glancing at the scoreboard before the wave?

Never mind the double-plus-mind-fuck of asking "if they had the opportunity would they do it?", that is just noise upon noise. Let's just start a 'new' tradition that the President and Senate will always act quickly to fill vacant seats because that is their job. When the other party is delivered a victory by fate we'll just say, "Well that's the way the cookie crumbles."

view more: Next ›