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BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 75 points ago +75 / -0

I smoked and drank and drugged nearly daily from early HS until I graduated from college. I have never seen or heard a credible story of anyone anywhere being "laced" with drugs by strangers. The old "dealers lace it w/ hard stuff to get you hooked" is an urban legend.

People aren't giving away coke to strangers like this anywhere. Not happening.

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WassermanSchultz 45 points ago +45 / -0

"I'm gonna get this stranger high instead of getting myself high."

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Blazeron 13 points ago +13 / -0

And I'm going to do it for free!

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MaoHadOnly1Testicle 6 points ago +6 / -0

Because I'm the kind of person that seeks delayed gratification, not a temporary escape!

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zipodk 5 points ago +5 / -0

Revenge of Corn Pop, playing the long game

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Farage_massage 33 points ago +34 / -1

Not just anywhere, “a few blocks from the White House” from some “South Africans”.

Who among us can say they’ve never come across the notorious South African Cigarette-lacers that plague DC with their free, cocaine-infused Marlboro’s.

It’s the stupidest story you’ll ever read.

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BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 26 points ago +26 / -0

I watched a seminar about lying and experts said liars often try to cloud their deception with weird details. I don't run into many South Africans, seems like a really strange thing to add to an already unbelievable crock.

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IlxTheGreat 11 points ago +11 / -0

Actually met 2 in my life. Company had me run them around to show them how intermodal transportation in Chicago worked. I'm one of the few people with access to all the rails since I've been a driver. Learned 3 very important Africa information bits that day: 1) Distances, we think we have far distances. There are places on the African Continent that dwarf the US. Johannesburg, SA to Cairo, Egypt 5600 miles. 2) Roads are tiny, not often larger than 2 lane 3) Trains are Euro Narrow Gauge, can't take the weight of US rails. Day was pretty well spent.

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BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 9 points ago +9 / -0

Sounds like an interesting day. And yes, heard the same, Africa is massive.

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Foreign_Aid_is_Theft 9 points ago +9 / -0

I mean that is like one tip of the continent to the other...Isnt that about the distance from Florida to Alaska?

Most Europeans are shocked by the distance across some states that are bigger than their countries. No one is driving from SA to Cairo

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IlxTheGreat 3 points ago +3 / -0

Believe it or not, that's a freight route, over some of the smallest, most dangerous roads in the world. That's why they were looking for intermodal solutions.

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MaoHadOnly1Testicle 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe one of them was Trevor Noah?

That would explain a lot.

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Space_Force 4 points ago +4 / -0

Bonus asshole points for Hunter blaming on a (likely) black guy.

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mastayoda420 6 points ago +6 / -0

I call bullshit on the "unknowingly", well beyond the obvious, I never smoked a coke cigarette but I did put cocaine in my Joints in my younger days and that shit is impossible to keep lit. Not only will that shit not burn but it actively suppresses the cherry, Hunter would have had to re-light the cig like 5 or more times. Cigarettes don't go out on their own for any reason so you'd have to be an idiot not to question it after the first time.

6
ClownTamer 6 points ago +6 / -0

Even if you gave Hunter the benefit of the doubt, he’s a known crackhead. There are thousands of pictures of him doing crack and now banging hookers that are potentially underaged while smoking crack. He fell asleep with a crackpipe in his mouth. Who the fuck would see a guy like this, take him at his word, and assume that one time he was kicked out of the army was an honest mistake?

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FireannDireach 4 points ago +4 / -0

Don't forget he left a crack pipe in a rental car. Seems crack pipes were a constant carry for him.

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deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
3
ClownTamer 3 points ago +3 / -0

Even without that incident, Hunter was likely to be a crackhead. Rich spoiled kid with access to anything he wanted that hung out with degenerates and has no obvious moral compass. It’s not like his dad’s setting a good example, either. Even on camera he’s going around sniffing young girls and generally being a creepy power hungry weirdo and is obviously willing to lie about things because we have him doing that on camera a bunch.

Sometimes things go bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. That said, Biden’s family does reflect Joe pretty well, while Trump’s family reflects him pretty well. It’s a compelling contrast.

3
Fabius 3 points ago +3 / -0

Exactly, dude.

It's like, why would this dude just give you his cocaine for free?

3
Lazarus327 3 points ago +3 / -0

Not to mention you would have to lace a ton of stuff to get people hooked.

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reynard 26 points ago +26 / -0

Those cocaine laced cigarettes... bad this time of year...

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PigBeenBorn 27 points ago +27 / -0

Any time someone bums one from me I give them a cocaine laced one that I always keep with me. That way they come back and bum more from me

11
BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 11 points ago +11 / -0

Underratedly funny

3
Pixel 3 points ago +3 / -0

Be on the lookout while going trick or treat.

23
BiglyTrumper 23 points ago +23 / -0

aside from the drugs - Hunter wanted a job in Naval Intelligence while his Pop was VP in 2013, the same year Hunter ALSO was involved with Rosemont Seneca and several big money Chinese asset managers, and was also taken along on a trip to Beijing with his Dad who helped him meet up with Chinese investors. This is the trip where Hunter came away with $1.5 billion in investments for his private equity fund.

Thank god he didn't get a job in Naval Intelligence.

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BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 16 points ago +16 / -0

Naval Intelligence. That's the scary part. A crackhead signalman? Maybe...

4
nufosmatic 4 points ago +4 / -0

Are you sure he didn't get the NI job?

3
residue69 3 points ago +3 / -0

Imagine how much they would have paid Hunter if he could sell our naval secrets to the Chinese. And I'll bet he wouldn't even have to split the money with Joe!

2
BiglyTrumper 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'm sure many of them have been sold, sadly :(

12
GayBoys4Trump 12 points ago +12 / -0

He wanted Naval Intelligence, got Public Affairs instead

MY FUCKING SIDES

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wizzingonwallstreet 8 points ago +8 / -0

Well you can't get a top secret clearance when you use cocaine. Public Affairs you don't need a clearance.

4
nufosmatic 4 points ago +4 / -0

For PA you just need to look good in front of a camera. Since Hunter was doing cocaine and not yet doing meth, he still looked pretty good.

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FireannDireach 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeah. That reads to me, as Daddy got him the gig, that's known, he got an waiver to get IN the program because of his drug/arrest history. Yeah, the Navy isn't putting some politician's junky kid anywhere near Naval Intelligence, they parked him at a desk, out of the way, and then deep sixed his addict ass as soon as they could. You know the brass were pissed having to do this - that's why he was inducted at the White House, the Navy wanted nothing to do with it.

The real hilarious part is, I recall reading some articles from back then that hinted that Hunter had this bizarre fantasy he had a future in public service - ie. he was eyeing a run at political office.

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Majestic_Clam 10 points ago +10 / -0

ROFL, don't work that way, Hunter me boi!

GO NAVY!

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deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
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deleted 8 points ago +8 / -0
8
TJHWP 8 points ago +9 / -1

“I don’t know what’s going on”. The whopper that blew the lie detector.

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Mrs_Fonebone 7 points ago +7 / -0

He learned it from his Dad.

7
tom_of_rj_fame 7 points ago +7 / -0

What a crock. He was warned and warned and warned - give chance after chance after chance - all because he was the VP's son. He was even told in advance he was going to get tested - for heavens sake Hunter - just pass one test. Couldn't even do that. No one would ever get the breaks this guy got with the Navy reserve - No one. And he couldn't even make it then.

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ColoradoTrumper45 5 points ago +5 / -0

Hunter was drummed out of the Navy while his father, who is known to be a retaliatory type, was still the Vice President!

It wasn't just a single hot piss test. This guy was being actively babysat, and I guarantee the poor saps that were supposed to be watching him and keeping him out of trouble ended up on guard duty in Greenland.

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FRENS 7 points ago +7 / -0

What a crackhead.

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DONTRUMP 6 points ago +6 / -0

did he just blame his cocaine habit it on black guys?... this is a typical response from a privileged individual who will not take reposnsibility for themselves. blame it on other people. always push the blame.

4
BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 4 points ago +4 / -0

He mentions the strangers were from SOUTH AFRICA. Probably Aryan Albino Apartheid White Supremacists!

2
nufosmatic 2 points ago +2 / -0

Corn Pop Did It

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TEXinLA 6 points ago +6 / -0

Liar Liar...

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deleted 5 points ago +5 / -0
5
BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 5 points ago +5 / -0

I think I read somewhere he didn't get the typical appeals slow roll because there was a past minor arrest for weed that was waived. Don't remember exactly, but seems you're right about not being 1 strike and gone.

0
nufosmatic 0 points ago +1 / -1

Reserves, not regular Navy.

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ColoradoTrumper45 4 points ago +4 / -0

Hunter's Naval "career" lasted a total of 9 months.

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FireannDireach 3 points ago +3 / -0

He wasn't really in the services. He was a weekend warrior desk jockey in a special program, that required no actual experience or service record, and didn't have to go to boot camp. It was a special program that allowed the services to bring in older people with specific skill sets to help train and coordinate within the service.

He was in his 40's when this happened. He wasn't some deck hand who got caught with a hot piss test after a good shore leave.

4
mygovisacommie 4 points ago +4 / -0

Drugs are expensive. Nobody just gives drugs to people for free without being asked.

4
Space_Force 4 points ago +4 / -0

"Muh cigarette was hacked."

What a joke.

3
Willy 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lying mother fucker.

3
DonatesOthersOrgans 3 points ago +3 / -0

Lmfao you can't lace a cigarette with cocaine. Burning cocaine does nothing.

Now crack, on the other hand...

1
FireannDireach 1 point ago +1 / -0

If it was crack in the cigarette, it would work. Not well, but it would work. On a test, crack and powder form are the same drug, so it's plausible.

But not likely. And, without knowing what test he took, and what they saw, who knows. The outcome is what counts - he was supposed to be clean, he pissed a hot test, he was gone. Boom. Done.

3
lordvon 3 points ago +3 / -0

darn russians are time travelers

3
Liver_Kick 3 points ago +3 / -0

Juicey Smollet is the Hunter Biden of faggots

3
Birbistheworb 3 points ago +3 / -0

Yes because that's what people do with cocaine, they hand it out to strangers at the bar then disappear.

3
Staatssicherheit 3 points ago +3 / -0

This family is fucked up beyond belief. The fact that they have corrupted the federal government for 40 years is a stain on the people of Delaware and the US as a whole.

3
Sum_devil 3 points ago +3 / -0

Laced with cocaine, and they jus gave them away. Here, navy boy. Enjoy some drugs for free.

Oh did they do it to sabotage whitey’s plans to be a good ole soldier?

2
ABC_oldguy 2 points ago +3 / -1

How do you even lace a cigarette with coke? Did he bum a roll-your-own from some guy that had extra? If it was a typical cigarette I can’t think of the logistics of getting coke into it. And then you wouldn’t bum that one after working so hard to lace it. No, this story is starting to not make any sense at all.

1
Sum_devil 1 point ago +1 / -0

“Beau, I’m amped up. What’s going on? I’m scared....and a little horny.”

1
nufosmatic 1 point ago +1 / -0

If those Chinese agents gave them enough money, they'd give away anything to anybody.

2
SFgayDude4Trump 2 points ago +2 / -0

Um, yeah. People don't give drugs away for free to strangers.

2
menangterus 2 points ago +2 / -0

He "bummed" a "cigarette" alright. Pretty sure that's what Andrew Gillum calls it, too.

2
bubbletea 2 points ago +2 / -0

I didnt know how my dick went into my sis-in-law’s pussy

2
Comntrinchief 2 points ago +2 / -0

This is the entitled Democrat’s version of “I can’t breathe”.

2
turdinthepunch 2 points ago +2 / -0

Democrats have the minds of battered women.

2
jollybygolly 2 points ago +2 / -0

Seems legit. I, for one, am completely satisfied with this explanation and will no longer question Joe Biden's honesty and/or integrity. 🙄

2
Art_Vandalay 2 points ago +2 / -0

He also bummed a crack pipe that was unknowingly laced with crack.

2
Deplorable_Badger 2 points ago +2 / -0

Did Hunter knock up a stripper because his condom was full of holes? Asking for a fren.

2
border_humper 2 points ago +2 / -0

sounds legit

2
Abovethefray 2 points ago +2 / -0

No doubt that is exactly what happened to that poor, poor boy. I knew several policemen fired for testing hot and none of those were their own fault either.../s

2
SendThemBackToCanada 2 points ago +2 / -0

I met one, he was a leftist. He likes to lie about everything, included unimportant stuff. Holy fuck, he couldn't stop lying to save his life.

1
nufosmatic 1 point ago +1 / -0

LIES, DAMNED LIES, AND ANYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF A BIDEN MOUTH

1
BrokenGlassTrumper 1 point ago +1 / -0

Was that crack pipe in his mouth unknowingly laced with cocaine too?

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
1
Anti-Globalist 1 point ago +1 / -0

I don't always use coke and get caught. But when I do, I immediately think to blame black people.

1
Filo76 1 point ago +1 / -0

I bet the FBI will disclose that the hard drive photos show a sleeping Biden with his head resting against a pillow laced with crack pipe. Nothing intentional of course. It was the South African maids who left it there.

1
Keiichi81 1 point ago +1 / -0

This is like a 6-year-old trying to lie to his mother about how the lamp got shattered.

1
walkedaway2020 1 point ago +1 / -0

That is such BS

1
Bedminster 1 point ago +1 / -0

Fact checked by Chris Wallace as....TRUE!

1
VoteCyborgTrump2040 1 point ago +1 / -0

Without a doubt, one of the worst lies I've ever heard in my life. A literal child could tell a more convincing lie.

1
BidenHecklerBailFund [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

OP note- small error apparently noticed by nobody but me. The date on the article should be 97/08/2019, not 2009. Article was published in NewYorker.com

1
not_a_shill 1 point ago +1 / -0

They dont throw you out for one failed drug test. They re-test you, and then put you in a program. There's too much invested in you to just toss you over one hot test even with their "Zero Tolerance Policy"

1
Lol_Garrus 1 point ago +1 / -0

"That cigarette was hacked!"

1
mortyball 1 point ago +1 / -0

Is he sure it wasn't Nigerians in MAGA hats?