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Comments (69)
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46
NimbleNavigator 46 points ago +46 / -0

Larp?

The p is upside down.

This is lard.

24
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 24 points ago +24 / -0

She is a level five sand-witch

2
mellestal 2 points ago +6 / -4

'p' upsidedown is a 'b' I think you meant rotated 180 degrees.

5
BasedMedicalDoctor 5 points ago +6 / -1 (edited)

Upside down and rotated 180 degrees *

Unless you think larq was what he was going for

5
Msmcontrolsnarrative 5 points ago +5 / -0

We all know what he was going for.

But this is the Internet and you’re supposed to correct people.

5
BasedMedicalDoctor 5 points ago +5 / -0

I knew what the original dude was going for. The dick who corrected him though is why I interjected with a correction to correct the “corrector”

3
Msmcontrolsnarrative 3 points ago +3 / -0

I know. It’s the beauty of the anonymous Internet.

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
1
mellestal 1 point ago +1 / -0

Upside down is flipped on it's horizontal axis. Turn your head upside down when looking at your screen (or lock your phone's auto-rotate).

p -> q is flipped on it's vertical axis

2
BasedMedicalDoctor 2 points ago +2 / -0

Lmao impressive mental gymnastics.

1
JFellows72 1 point ago +1 / -0

Quantum physics in a nutshell

3
NimbleNavigator 3 points ago +3 / -0

...I knew that.

runs

19
Rob_Belmonte 19 points ago +19 / -0

Ah, well I am a wizard. My wand is a rifle, and my spells go pew pew.

10
ItCameOutOfACan 10 points ago +10 / -0

That's crazy, I'm a wizard too. I ride upon a magical beast that plow through crowds encumbering the thoroughfare.

8
Rob_Belmonte 8 points ago +8 / -0

Ah, yes. I and the dreaded Tacoma beast of Toyota Kingdom prepare for our ride through the harrowing Horde of Hambeast.

3
Deathlessly 3 points ago +3 / -0

I call it a magic staff.

And it only gives death spells.

2
DeltaTango 2 points ago +2 / -0

And you can make commies disappear!

17
AnointedVisions 17 points ago +17 / -0

Reality is too unbearable for them

17
jsnforce 17 points ago +17 / -0

The whole "witch" thing is so cringy. Its just a means of deluding themselves into believing they have some form of power. The smugness of these people is tragic, considering how ridiculous they are in their "casting spells" while having the audacity to condemn Christians.

9
Milty 9 points ago +9 / -0

I casually dated a woman who thought she was a witch, obsessed with Harry Potter and the whole nine yards. I think it was a delusion to help distract her from the fact that she has a bachelor's degree in feminist philosophy and works as a hostess at a restaurant.

Her boss wronged her somehow, so her "coven" got together and cursed him. AKA gave his phone number to a bunch of bot/scammers.

It was the perfect amount of psycho to have fun over the summer but not enough to feel threatened for my own safety.

2
JFellows72 2 points ago +2 / -0

This guy fucks^

0
magaroniAndCheese 0 points ago +1 / -1

hoping he keeps it up in his balls

11
PikeyCaravan 11 points ago +11 / -0

Cast a spell that gets you off the couch.

10
DerekVinyard 10 points ago +10 / -0

Look fat.

6
KeepingAmericaGreat 6 points ago +6 / -0

"Aw geez, I thought I was a witch."

"Maybe you should use your wand to eat more vegetables."

3
GopnikGod 3 points ago +3 / -0

That cucumber she just ate was used for a lot more than spells..

4
IAbsolutelyDare 4 points ago +4 / -0

C'mon man!

5
DerekVinyard 5 points ago +5 / -0

I bet she goes to 7 11 and Dunkin Donuts so often she has a slight Indian accent.

2
Backslash2099 2 points ago +2 / -0

Yeesh that's a lot.

8
WakingKnowledge 8 points ago +8 / -0

Because they live in a fantasy land in their head.

6
Bloombergs_fly 6 points ago +6 / -0

Because they are all basement losers from tumblr and online rping communities

5
EPic 5 points ago +5 / -0

High level KEK right there

4
Bullet3250 4 points ago +4 / -0

She turned me into a Newt!

3
Bullet3250 3 points ago +3 / -0

I got better....

2
DerekVinyard 2 points ago +2 / -0

flying... Monty .... circus... you know the thing!

2
Bullet3250 2 points ago +2 / -0

'We'll build a bridge out her'

4
DeusVult 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'm not sure that works. Gluttony is one of the Deadly sins after all.

3
Loiuzein 3 points ago +3 / -0

She needs the extra weight! It's a critical spell component!

3
KekVult 3 points ago +3 / -0

"I need to fill special without putting in any effort"

3
Magaflora 3 points ago +3 / -0

Spell backfired and lost eyebrows

3
Adhal 3 points ago +3 / -0

or fix her face

3
throwaway-5947375959 3 points ago +3 / -0

Maybe the Dark Lord has a fat fetish?

4
VanStiggles 4 points ago +4 / -0

Satan is a chubby-chaser, lol.

3
Frosty 3 points ago +3 / -0

Because they’re so deeply cognitive dissonanced they believe reality is unmanageable and is totally overwhelming so they retreat to fantasyland where they have superpowers.

2
MySidesGoUp 2 points ago +2 / -0

The toilet paper is strategically next to the unused toothbrush set.

2
beef-tits 2 points ago +2 / -0

The definition of ugly big toe face.

2
TrumpVictorious 2 points ago +2 / -0

Magical thinking is a characteristic of small children.

In this case, make believe is a lot easier than consistent treadmill use and dietary restriction.

2
DrMoustachio 2 points ago +2 / -0

T H I N N E R

2
rootGoose 2 points ago +2 / -0

The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but [he that is] cruel troubleth his own flesh.

- Proverbs 11:17 (KJV)

2
Destineed369 2 points ago +2 / -0

Calling herself a witch is just a subconscious way to explain why no one likes her I’m assuming. A form Denial Basically lol

2
deleted 2 points ago +2 / -0
2
loveshock 2 points ago +2 / -0

Boots of Fortify Carry Weight are rather hard to find. It's not wonder she hasn't learned that one yet. Probably because she never gets off the couch.

2
Zippythekid 2 points ago +2 / -0

Because they can’t survive in reality. Well actually they could if they would allow themselves to hit rock bottom, fight their way back through hard work and learn to appreciate everything they have.

1
MythArcana 1 point ago +1 / -0

Throw her in the lake and see if there's any water left.

1
NotADocileLady 1 point ago +1 / -0

Or eyebrows.

1
NotaBagel 1 point ago +1 / -0

Her cross to bear

1
HiddenDekuScrub 1 point ago +1 / -0

"Witches" are why I can't wear a pretty crystal pendant without people thinking I'm a looney tune. 🙄

1
ShartimusPrime 1 point ago +1 / -0

Yeah, she need ta abracadabra dat ass.

1
Dudemanfoo 1 point ago +1 / -0

See that wish to lose the penis didn't pan out either...

1
Tardigrade 1 point ago +1 / -0

Remember the movie "Thinner"?

1
usfreiheit 1 point ago +1 / -0

Maybe every spell you cast causes you to gain 1 pound.

1
Brownwaterboys 1 point ago +1 / -0

That burn is hotter than the fires in hell she'll be burning in.

1
Desert_Covfefe 1 point ago +1 / -0

Hahahaha

1
Deathlessly 1 point ago +1 / -0

It's a childhood of being told you can be whatever you want to be.

And then never followed that up with.

... in this world Honey. I'm not raising a weirdo.

1
Crash_Test_Dhimmi 1 point ago +1 / -0

"It's muh thuhroid, there are no spells for that!"

1
Dumdum 1 point ago +1 / -0

Salt attracts water

1
coiffeuse2 1 point ago +1 / -0

That's vicious... lololol

1
Bubbahax 1 point ago +1 / -0

Nah, she's just big boned.

0
magaroniAndCheese 0 points ago +1 / -1

gotta stay grounded to handle all the mana flowing thru you

its like electricity

heavily grounded