3654
Comments (244)
sorted by:
330
cloud [S] 330 points ago +331 / -1

For real!

139
booblitchutz 139 points ago +139 / -0

You know.. the thing..

26
Everquest4Life 26 points ago +26 / -0

I pledge allegiance to the fact that you ain’t black of the other Joe Biden running for senate and the United States of America was never great and to the thing for which it come on man one nation under the, my times up. For real.

8
ono412 8 points ago +8 / -0

Why did I instantly imagine this coming out of Tryus's mouth...

4
trump212121 4 points ago +4 / -0

OMG I can't stop laughing. That is so bad, It's just like a bad SNL skit.

2
benny_rt2 2 points ago +2 / -0

LOL

6
MAGAlikeLINCOLN 6 points ago +6 / -0

And corn pop was a BAD dude!

3
DeltaTango 3 points ago +3 / -0

I pledge allegiance to the...you know, the thing.

87
IncredibleMrE1 87 points ago +87 / -0

C'mon, man!

29
deleted 29 points ago +29 / -0
25
Chad_Landlord 25 points ago +25 / -0

Look, man, uhm.. there's a serious problem with 100 million..Donald Trump division the corona virus for the uhm... the police, I mean c'mon man! Look at my record!

18
Punk2044 18 points ago +18 / -0

Listen here Fat!

6
unspecified_user 6 points ago +6 / -0

C'mon God, get under the flag, man! I love children !

50
dontUseVinegerAsLube 50 points ago +50 / -0

"I pledge under the flag of America, for real, guys, c'mon!" - Joe Biden

16
SocalPede 16 points ago +16 / -0

Maybe he should have picked "Please Clap" Jeb as his running mate?

2
datraceman 2 points ago +2 / -0

Low energy

2
davidmode 2 points ago +2 / -0

low_energy_candidate has entered the chat

34
UpTrump 34 points ago +34 / -0

I love kids touching my leg hair

17
The_Litehaus_Abides 17 points ago +17 / -0

And jumpin' in my lap!

14
trumpORbust 14 points ago +14 / -0

big black roaches

12
Zambillians2020 12 points ago +12 / -0

C'mon, man! Black roaches are just as bright as white kids

3
geekesmind 3 points ago +3 / -0

Omg that's racist you xenophobic

REEEEEEEE

7
MadRussian 7 points ago +7 / -0

That's how I learned about roaches!

4
darkgwalchmei 4 points ago +4 / -0

zodiac_killer has entered the chat

1
OnlySlightlyNaughty 1 point ago +1 / -0

I got hairy legs!

28
EDDIT_IS_CUCKED 28 points ago +28 / -0

This is the worst thing I've ever seen. Holy shit, his brain is mush.

229
Atlas_Glugged 229 points ago +229 / -0

This stopped being funny a long time ago, and then it started being funny again.

143
PinkoPatrol 143 points ago +144 / -1

I used to laugh at this.

I still do, but I used to, too.

38
booblitchutz 38 points ago +38 / -0

I see a Mitch Hedberg reference and I upvote it!

17
PM_ME_UR_YARD_GIRL 17 points ago +17 / -0

I didn't lose my legs in Vietnam so I could serve you hotdogs.

5
booblitchutz 5 points ago +5 / -0

Ah yes from when That 70s Show was waaaay past shark jump.

8
jubyeonin 8 points ago +8 / -0

I did, but now I do.

24
spezisacuckold 24 points ago +24 / -0

🤡🌎

10
Dahnald2020 10 points ago +10 / -0

HONK HONK

22
menangterus 22 points ago +22 / -0

It's to the point that I just feel bad for him.

The disparity in mental acuities between Trump and Biden, at this point, is huge. The debate will be a mess. Trump will definitely have the upper hand, but I'm afraid the optics of it will look like he's beating up on grandpa.

17
1776ThereIsaidIt 17 points ago +17 / -0

It's getting close to Thanksgiving and Americans know all too well what a senile old grandpa is like and they usually don't want him passing the mashed potatoes because they are afraid his dentures will fall in them. They don't want someone as president that will suddenly challenge Boris Johnson to an armpit farts competition. I think this bodes well for GEOTUS.

10
Mrsattorney 10 points ago +10 / -0

"Armpit farts competition," lol.

3
ObamasLooseButthole 3 points ago +3 / -0

Boris would totally win that competition btw

15
Thep1mp 15 points ago +15 / -0

Don’t feel bad for Biden. He has earned every bit of bad shit that happens to him.

9
jennyfrutex 9 points ago +9 / -0

Part of me feels sympathy for a senile old man who's not just being left alone. But he's done some truly heinous things in his time; he was responsible for Robert Bork getting fucked over, and he also oversaw the attempted character assassination of Clarence Thomas. He's the kind of snake-like politician who wants to call himself a Catholic, but supports abortion and wants Planned Parenthood's money.

7
Be3Al2Si6O18 7 points ago +7 / -0

the optics of it will look like he's beating up on grandpa.

That's where POTUS pulls the compassion card when Biden's dementia kicks in. Trump will kindly escort Biden off-stage or to a nearby chair, with a patronizing "It's OK", then treat the remainder of the debate as an interview with the moderator(s).

Take care of the downside (dealing with a mental patient), and the upside takes care of itself.

2
Friendly_B 2 points ago +2 / -0

How much are tickets? I'll take two please.

4
drsowells1fan 4 points ago +4 / -0

I'll never feel bad for a corrupt, racist, plagiarizing pedophile whose ripped off America

13
Imransgarage 13 points ago +13 / -0

Today’s episode of “Dementia or Marxism?”

4
donald_zuramp 4 points ago +4 / -0

This would be the Bill and Ted version of the pledge of allegiance LOL

87
South_Florida_Guy 87 points ago +87 / -0

While standing in front of one.

50
nozonozo 50 points ago +50 / -0

This guy is only spitting out fragments of memory at this point.

Pretty damn close to Stage 5 dementia.

22
CantThinkOfUserName 22 points ago +22 / -0 (edited)

That's why Biden will say he is running for senator or vice president at times. His brain is misfiring, and recalling his past experiences when he was campaigning for Senate and Vice President.

14
Wtf_socialismreally 14 points ago +14 / -0

The Harris-Biden administration, where Kamala convinces him that he's actually vice president and the media backs him up

6
nozonozo 6 points ago +6 / -0

You are right sir.

It doesn't take a psychoanalyst to know that.

2
DeltaTango 2 points ago +2 / -0

He's forgotten more than you'll ever know!

15
_Eric_Ciaramella_ 15 points ago +15 / -0

For real!

72
CheesyEggs 72 points ago +72 / -0

Reminder that libs thought we’d give a fuck about some lady’s “dying wish”😂😂😂

22
bill_the_butcher 22 points ago +22 / -0

this aint 2009 gop biiiitchez LOL

7
zooty 7 points ago +7 / -0

Alleged dying wish.

7
aintgotnotimefothis 7 points ago +7 / -0

It's right there in the constitution!

Article III, Section 2, paragraph 4. In the event that the President of the United States is a meanie, the Make a Wish foundation shall nominate the justices of the supreme court with the advice and consent of CNN.

3
MisterClinton 3 points ago +3 / -0

Adolf Hitler’s dying wish is the continued existence of the German Reich and the erasure of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her people. And no one cared about Adolf Hitler’s last wishes. So why should anyone care about Ginsburg’s last wishes?

2
Tardi_B 2 points ago +2 / -0

The fact that they're basically begging and pleading shows how much they already know they're fucked. Appealing to emotions after all the violence they promoted this summer is like a child resorting to crying when their temper tantrum didn't get them what they wanted.

49
Beef_Vegan 49 points ago +49 / -0

Come on man!

10
AlphaNathan 10 points ago +10 / -0

For real!

49
Ithrowawaay 49 points ago +49 / -0

Motherfucker can’t even recite the pledge.

Mental acuity < 1st grader.

For real.

48
Kobecopter 48 points ago +48 / -0

“I pledge allegiance...to the thing”

13
Chickenbaconpoutine 13 points ago +13 / -0

The fabric thing that goes up.

9
AlphaNathan 9 points ago +9 / -0

kekekek

3
Krat 3 points ago +3 / -0

Come on MAN!!!

2
DeltaTango 2 points ago +2 / -0

"...of the United stuff of, you know, come on man! And to the public, for who I stand, one nation, underground, with liberty and..you callin me a liar?"

45
Pres_Trump 45 points ago +46 / -1

He is not doing the pledge of allegiance. He is just talking about it. This has to be the third or fourth time this has been posted with this context and the second time its been stickied. Just calling a spade a spade.

10
Rando04 10 points ago +12 / -2

This needs to get upvoted to the top. We have enough ammo against Biden, that we don't need to make stuff up.

6
OrganicVandal 6 points ago +6 / -0

The dems can take it. They dish it out enough.

3
DoIMAGAYouHornyBaby 3 points ago +3 / -0

True. Dats the true true. I am curious how elegant the rest was. Interesting that he inserted the “”under God” part, much like how the Democrats dropped it TWICE during their convention.

Why not both- we all know the value of uncontextual videos- hell, that’s Athe CNN business model. But, instead of taking the low hanging fruit, we talk about the “-Under God” and how Joe seems to be breaking from the party. Its time to start playing for keeps, and the opponent has show the bag of dirty tricks they are willing, to make, aside from the ibes they have already used.

2
cuckslasher 2 points ago +2 / -0

commies play dirty

3
Friffer 3 points ago +3 / -0

Thanks for your concern

2
pmurTJdlanoD 2 points ago +2 / -0

Is this not the official Trump youtube page?

18
JudgeWhoAllowsStuff 18 points ago +18 / -0

Why don’t they just hire a voice actor that sounds like Biden and put a speaker behind the mask? This is getting ridiculous.

9
Mrsattorney 9 points ago +9 / -0

Maybe they're saving that for the debates.

1
DeltaTango 1 point ago +1 / -0

Lol, exactly. It's not like we can see his mouth moving.

They should go full bore and get someone like Morgan Freeman to voice Biden.

1
OrganicVandal 1 point ago +1 / -0

chicken titties taste good!

15
DarkMemeDuck 15 points ago +15 / -0

At least he said "under God"? At this point it's an achievement that he doesn't just collapse on stage.

13
bill_the_butcher 13 points ago +13 / -0

🦅
🇺🇸

What a Faggot

🇺🇸
🦅

11
h4ck3l 11 points ago +11 / -0

Elder abuse is not funny, this is such a crying shame.

3
pmurTJdlanoD 3 points ago +3 / -0

No compassion for Beijing Biden. His handlers are evil elder abusers and he's a piece of shit who would sell your family out for an extra chinese nickel in his pocket.

11
ExecuteOrdr66 11 points ago +11 / -0

Stickied in less than 4 minutes. We have the best mods, don’t we folks?

5
_Eric_Ciaramella_ 5 points ago +5 / -0

Mods = GODS

10
cowsho 10 points ago +10 / -0

You know the line...how it goes. You know. Yogurt.

8
CovfefeShop 8 points ago +8 / -0

I pledge allegiance, to the, you know the thing, of the United Nation, of America. And to the Supreme, under Corn Pop, one million thousand, two hundred trillion, look fat, Amen and Okay!

4
Dahnald2020 4 points ago +4 / -0

🤣🤣🤣

8
Loopdojo 8 points ago +8 / -0

Joe Biden shares this one trick to save you seconds every day!

8
LandOfLiberty 8 points ago +8 / -0

FOR REAL!

7
Justhalftheshaft 7 points ago +7 / -0

Cmon guys we all know the thing!

7
AbrahamLincoln 7 points ago +7 / -0

Joe looks like a fucking idiot in that mask.

4
frankenbox 4 points ago +4 / -0

Well, its on backwards, so....

1
Italians_Invented_2A 1 point ago +1 / -0

It's not backwards. But it's not properly fitted, the metal strip should hold it up on his nose.

1
frankenbox 1 point ago +1 / -0

I truly think he has it inside out. He has the blue facing in and the white out. Notice the reporters mask in this clip versus Biden's https://thedonald.win/p/HXoeKQlC/joe-biden-doesnt-believe-voters-/c/

Also, there was one of those internet rumor on FB that told people to wear it inside out. But, Drs say to always wear it blue side out! https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/04/15/fact-check-disposable-masks-should-always-worn-colored-side-out/2993699001/

6
bigleaguetrump 6 points ago +6 / -0

I pledge allegiance to you know the thing

6
RichterScale 6 points ago +6 / -0

Hahahah for real you guys. He really means it this time.

6
McFatty7 6 points ago +7 / -1

Democrats don't think the United States is a country, but rather a globalist equity fund to extract wealth & natural resources from.

All while importing Blue voters to make sure they stay in power forever.

5
Merica1st 5 points ago +5 / -0

For real man, look jack!

5
TyrantsAreCucks 5 points ago +5 / -0

Dear god

5
dirtduck 5 points ago +5 / -0

I thought he was going to start saying the Chinese pledge

5
Themustardtiger 5 points ago +5 / -0

No bueno

5
DrRedPill 5 points ago +5 / -0

its because his brain is literally melting

5
HartianX 5 points ago +5 / -0

How the actual hell do they make him sound like a cohesive individual in his commercials (propaganda) when he spews verbal diarrhea like this on a constant basis?

2
unclebobinator 2 points ago +2 / -0

Modafinil

5
ServerTowerofBabel 5 points ago +5 / -0

Four reel!

5
Mcdaguc 5 points ago +5 / -0

“Check me out man, it’s about the soul of America and tuna clubs for all the lil girls at the swimming pool.”

5
triforce28 5 points ago +5 / -0

You know, the thing

5
Wheredidiputit 5 points ago +5 / -0

When was this? I thought they called a lid today?

5
556x45mm 5 points ago +5 / -0

C'mon man, back in my day you could get a lid for $10

4
CarlosCornPopDelecto 4 points ago +4 / -0

He skipped the word "flag." He skipped the word "Republic." He got the word order wrong on "indivisible" and "under God." He likes to touch early pubescent breasts.

4
LWGII 4 points ago +4 / -0

J ust O utta E nergy

4
BunnyPicnic 4 points ago +4 / -0

Do y'all remember when everyone thought W was an idiot? Jesus christ this man is not there. It scares the shit out of me that people could watch him speak, and think he's capable of running the country. I don't know a word crazy enough to define it. Maybe we can just make up words like the left does.

1
deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
4
deleted 4 points ago +4 / -0
2
Dahnald2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

For real

3
TheRealPizzaPope 3 points ago +3 / -0

It’s like the people speaking into his ear piece are arguing over what they want him to say.

3
123breadman 3 points ago +3 / -0

The AI is malfunctioning.

3
MixedBlacknWhite 3 points ago +3 / -0

I wonder what the Dem leaders actually, and truly think when they see this sort of video, or any of his videos? Like what is Kuntala Harris thinking after seeing this? She cannot think they have a chance with this walking corpse?

We all know they dont.. so how are they gonna cheat?

3
DefeatSoros 3 points ago +3 / -0

The President was right, it is no coincidence that Jim Crow Joe and his party are taking the words "under God" out of the pledge of allegiance at the DNC, this speech, and even one time before a House Session. They are not atheists, quite the opposite. The Democrats believe in a God, the state is their God.

3
Caferrell 3 points ago +3 / -0

This is Elder abuse.

The Democrats know that they can´t win with Joe and we know that they aren't just going to roll over and accept another 4 years of the orange tornado. So what is their plan?

The only possible path for the Democrats to win is to run old Joe and cheat everywhere and hope that they can overpower the Republicans just by flooding false ballots everywhere.

And then appoint Kamala

3
7.62swinebuster 3 points ago +3 / -0

His wife must not have any compassion for him as she is obviously pushing this with his handlers for her own needs. Any loving spouse would not allow this to happen like it is. Dude needs to be under care with people that manage mental health needs.

3
Indianapede 3 points ago +3 / -0

He’s not ok.

3
Dahnald2020 3 points ago +3 / -0

Under God for real. C'mon man 🤣🤣

3
PraiseBeToScience 3 points ago +3 / -0

I pledge allegiance to the United States of America. One nation. Indivisible wonder god for real! And c'mon man, to the standing republic, with liberty and the thing for all!

3
BiggsThinks99 3 points ago +3 / -0

For real, brah!

3
snowflaketears 3 points ago +3 / -0

Fur real dawgs!

2
Numaeus 2 points ago +2 / -0

"I pledge allegiance to the look, fat, of the, you know, the thing of America."

2
Zambillians2020 2 points ago +2 / -0

When keeping it real goes wrong

2
Wakenbake 2 points ago +2 / -0

Unfit

2
3BagFullFarm 2 points ago +2 / -0

It takes a special kind of stupid to listen to this guy for more than 15 seconds and say, "That's my President.".