1679
posted ago by mivvan

According to the Atlanta mayor and DA, cops may only discharge their weapons if their sidearm is taken and is used against them. Even in this case they have to wait until the criminal takes three aimed shots at them. Stray bullets do not count as these pose no threat (they fly safely over the heads of officers).

The police union raised an issue with the new rules. Some officers had difficulty returning fire once they were allowed to under the new rules., Namely that their gun is already taken from them and fired at them three times by the time they are allowed to use it themselves for the first time.

Mayor Longbottom solved the issue by requiring all Atlanta officers to carry two sidearms. One is for the criminal to take, and one for the officer to defend him or herself.

According to the Atlanta mayor and DA, cops may only discharge their weapons if their sidearm is taken and is used against them. Even in this case they have to wait until the criminal takes three aimed shots at them. Stray bullets do not count as these pose no threat (they fly safely over the heads of officers). The police union raised an issue with the new rules. Some officers had difficulty returning fire once they were allowed to under the new rules., Namely that their gun is already taken from them and fired at them three times by the time they are allowed to use it themselves for the first time. Mayor Longbottom solved the issue by requiring all Atlanta officers to carry two sidearms. One is for the criminal to take, and one for the officer to defend him or herself.
Comments (75)
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90
AmericanJawa 90 points ago

Can't tell if real or parody.

18
wong 18 points ago

It's certainly paradoxical.

25
Jubal777 25 points ago

It's 2020, no one can tell anymore.

8
AmericanJawa 8 points ago

That's Jokerverse for ya.

3
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 3 points ago

Jokerverse > clown world.

8
bubadmt 8 points ago

It's current year!

4
Buildtheadytum 4 points ago

In current year, to be fair, the officer would have to present the suspect with a hinged wooden box containing a revolver within. Then the officer and suspect would duel at ten paces.

3
FreeBased1 3 points ago

More like office gets a squirt gun and criminal, I mean PROTESTOR gets the real gun.

2
FAQ-REDDIT 2 points ago

☝️ a taser pun

8
HockeyMom4Trump 8 points ago

It may be a parody today, but it will be real down the road...

These liberals want to destroy the police

2
nachosamplerREBORN 2 points ago

No way they’d give cops TWO side arms. Parody.

1
ACuriousWingnut 1 point ago

Poe’s law

42
tigerz 42 points ago

How anybody would want to be a cop in a Democrat state in this day and age is beyond me, I wish them luck though, they’re gonna need it.

35
Room641A 35 points ago

The good cops are walking away, and they are going to end up lowering standards in order to recruit enough new ones.

25
Keiichi81 25 points ago

All according to plan.

Oh, wait. Did you think the Democrats' plan was to solve the problems that give them power?

16
PepesUnite 16 points ago

Brown shirts

9
PaigeAshley 9 points ago

This is true. 😞

2
DavidBrockShill 2 points ago

So basically more corrupt cops that will allow criminals to do what they want

27
Rossphi 27 points ago

If only a therapist was there to make the arrest

16
bubadmt 16 points ago

Therapist emergency services in a progressive world:

"Help, I've been shot!" "And how does that make you feel? "ARHGHHH I NEED HELP, I'M DYING!" "It's important to be in touch with your feelings. I think we've made some real progress here, let's pick up where we left off next week."

6
Johnson 6 points ago

"We can sign you up for the 1-year subscription, auto-renewing to 2 years, and then look into what products we can sell you."

11
hit_backspace 11 points ago

If only a social worker can suddenly teleport to scenes of armed robberies and give the criminals counselling.

5
Southern_Belle 5 points ago

Holograms!

3
MajJamesMcFarlane 3 points ago

"Please state the nature of the violent emergency."

2
DavidBrockShill 2 points ago

Holograms also cant be stabbed in the neck

7
PepesUnite 7 points ago

It’s just a bad day bud, it’ll be alright. Pew pew pew pew.

17
2016again 17 points ago

I'm glad i don't live in Atlanta. It will be chaos within a week.

12
hit_backspace 12 points ago

It's purge night every night in democrat cities.

8
2016again 8 points ago

Look at them inCalifornia beating white people in the streets and stealing their cars.

https://twitter.com/BaronStrucker/status/1273410329222012929

7
Magister_Caeli 7 points ago

Moved away once I graduated a month and a half ago holy shit am I lucky

12
deleted 12 points ago
7
Mukato 7 points ago

There only 2 cops there in the whole precinct.

11
RandallSavage 11 points ago

Firearm 1 is a Nerf gun and if that fails then you may escalate to firearm 2 which is a Super Soaker.

7
bubadmt 7 points ago

Followed by a Tomahawk missile.

3
Hedonismpepe 3 points ago

oh top kek

2
Side-o-Beef_Curtains 2 points ago

To be fair the super soaker does contain a little bit of pee.

10
ShrikeDeCil 10 points ago

(Gets a .22, intentionally works it until jammed, let's it hang out there.)

6
Room641A 6 points ago

A bait gun.

6
ShootTheAntifas 6 points ago

Standard issue bait gun lmao

7
diaperrash 7 points ago

So, the left got what it wanted, to be fair. Defund the police? Well they got it & they got no police now. Lol the left really won that one.

6
bitterbut_true 6 points ago (edited)

And the returning fire from the officer must be 'proportional'...that means after the criminal has fired 3 times (and missed) and then shoots you in the guts (i.e the 4th shot) you CANNOT shoot back aiming for the head or heart which would be instantly fatal. Any officer killing a criminal in such an 'unproportional' manner will be charged with murder. Preferably aim for the foot. :)

6
MrTrumpsWildRide 6 points ago

Don't forget that if the police officer returns fire and it happens to hit them in the back then the officer is still guilty of murder.

6
KAGallthetime 6 points ago

Sounds like Obama era ROE

4
JesusLovesTrump 4 points ago

I googled this and one of the top results was thedonald.win

4
Supersaiyanbroly737 4 points ago

The easy solution is to just let these criminals do as they please.

Only if they're black. Because only Black Live Matter.

7
BlackPillBot 7 points ago

Crime is the new black entitlement.

3
sfluke8 3 points ago

No crime is white privilege

4
Room641A 4 points ago

Brilliant

3
Pede 3 points ago

Let's ban the deadly 12-6 elbow

3
Smubbs 3 points ago

You mother fucker.

3
bubadmt 3 points ago

How dare you not recognize the black man's ballistic privilege!

2
CantStumpTrump 2 points ago

Once the corrupt leftists totally ruined our military, they did something similar to this parody.

They enforced rules of engaugment that only allow US forces to shoot a terrorist, only if they were under "effective fire".

What they were saying is not OK respond to pop shots and harrasment, but only when someone is bleeding out on the ground.

2
Ostrichesarecool 2 points ago (edited)

Got to be parody... But how sad that it might not be...

2
FullAutoFlintlock 2 points ago

This cant be fucking real? I cant tell amymore... last line was funny giveaway

2
TwoIfBySea 2 points ago

Most sense a democrat has made in years.

2
VetforTrump 2 points ago

Don't give those asshats any ideas

1
ByteKnight321 1 point ago

Never Vote Blue, No Matter Who!

1
deleted 1 point ago
1
Vstablegenius45 1 point ago

haha, Cops should have some of those guns like Deadshot had mounted to the wrists :)

1
lixa 1 point ago

Sad it took me until the beginning of the last paragraph to look up and see “parody.” I’m feeling really fragile rn. I think I’m becoming a snowflake.

1
bill_in_texas 1 point ago

"If you cannot afford a firearm, one will be provided for you........"

~Carmen Miranda warning

1
LemonManBad 1 point ago

kek

1
Satou 1 point ago

Bruh get this man a job at the failing NYT kek

1
ssdj 1 point ago

Source or unsticky.

1
TedCruzAteABoogaloo 1 point ago

One of the sidearms should be a Wile E. Coyote type gun that shoots out a little flag that says "Oh shit."

1
SimplePede 1 point ago

Clown world.

Any other year I'd never believe it but this year I'm willing to believe that the Joker is real, he's running a big thing, and Bruce Wayne had to become President to fight him

1
ShootTheAntifas 1 point ago

This literally sounds like some drivel Biden would offer up

1
ImFinallyNotAnAlt 1 point ago

These sound like the ROEs we had in Afghanistan

1
C1REX 1 point ago

UK solved the problem. Police officers carry no gun.

1
NotProgCensored 1 point ago

Kek

1
YouKnowWhatItIs87 1 point ago

Meanwhile, black cop is shot by criminals.

-“What part of the story are you leaving out?”

-4
DJTrump_MD -4 points ago

How about this: Police will not be legally protected for shooting people in the back (ie while fleeing). That would be a big step forward

4
Buildtheadytum 4 points ago

So lets say a school shooter is engaged by police officers. The shooter shoots an officer, then runs down a hallway. He may not be shot at while he is facing away from the officers. He peaks out around the corner and shoots a few more officers. Then he jumps out into the middle of the hallway, backwards, and starts firing over his shoulder. At no point may the officers return fire.

And this makes sense to you.

3
DarkMemeDuck 3 points ago

I only see idiotic posts like the one you replied to coming out of Anaconda. It must be his alt.

1
DJTrump_MD 1 point ago

Anyone who has already used lethal force is fair game.

I’m talking about all the videos you can find where someone is resisting arrest, breaks loose from the police, and gets shot in the back. Many times the person has not even commit a previous crime, but is just terrified of biased police. (And how ironic is it that they are proven right)