Comments (54)
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H335 56 points ago

Oh my sides! 🤣🤣🤣

weltbild 31 points ago

Twitters trust and safety council will delete any black conservative voter for distributing misleading or fake information.

1776-or-1984 10 points ago

Gonna need a new spice rack/warehouse over here!!

TGNX 3 points ago

LOL! Babylon Bee, never change!

bellcurvestrikesback 34 points ago

DNA testing is folk pseudoscience designed to make the idea fun in order to get people to willingly give up their DNA to medical companies, who then own the sequence. They also interpret the data through a narrative that promotes miscegenation in order to delegitimize ideas like racial purity. You can also have your Dna subpoenaed by law enforcement agencies and used to accuse you of a crime, which is already happening.

Don't give up your DNA

sniffyJB 22 points ago

Yep. And guess where those DNA sample go to get tested? You got it! CHINA!

Sauce: I attended a HIPAA conference where an FBI team presented that you should never give you DNA to Ancestry or 21andme. Not like I'd do it anyway, but nice to know there are still some good people out there looking out the the country's best interest..

RenaissanceOfHope 5 points ago

I don’t trust law enforcement, ESPECIALLY federal police but they are definitely intelligent!

powershellder 3 points ago


Do they only test liberal dna?

preferredfault 13 points ago (edited)

Yep, anyone who values their rights, should never willingly give away their DNA to companies.

They can also use it for paternity tests for child support. As much as I wouldn't mind supporting my own children, I damn sure wouldn't want some kid I didn't even know about from a one night stand or old relationship to come at me decades later for a lifetime of child support back pay just because I took some DNA test and they found me, when the mother never bothered to ever tell me and robbed me of all those years I could have spent getting visitation rights at the very least. At that point, I shouldn't have to pay, and no one needs that emotional distress from being robbed of that but still being forced to pay.

On top of that it can be abused. Let's say your DNA somehow got picked up near a crime scene years ago, but you had absolutely nothing to do with it. Then you take a DNA ancestry test today. Now you're having to explain how your DNA was there, and if you don't have solid and documented proof of your whereabouts at the time (and who does if it's something from 10-20 or even 2 years ago?).....you could potentially find yourself being charged with a crime you never committed....all because you took a gimmicky DNA test.

SummonedDaedroth 12 points ago

Don't need to take a DNA test to do your ancestry

VidMaster 17 points ago

Strong Nuclear families won't need to; they can ask their grandma or parents

bellcurvestrikesback 4 points ago

True although it is Ancestry's main business model now

Bouldabassed 5 points ago

You do your other arguments a disservice by leading with DNA sequencing is folk pseudoscience. It isn't pseudoscience and it is absolutely 100% doable with today's technology. That being said, anyone who gives up their DNA to be sequenced "just for fun" is naive.

bellcurvestrikesback 2 points ago

Fair enough, I was trying to allude how people with pure northern European ancestry will have reports stating they are part Asian or 5% African, despite some of these people being able to trace their lineage back hundreds of years

NomadicKrow -7 points ago (edited)

Uh. Racial purity is kind of a bullshit idea. But I'd like for you to explain how it isn't. I want to hear this.

Edit: You dumb fucks start talking about racial purity on this board and that's all they need to prove to their weak minded voters that we're some kind of nazi or some shit.

bellcurvestrikesback 2 points ago

Population groups are clinal, but there are clear groupings that signify geographically and ethnically discrete groups that had been kept relatively separate throughout much of history through endogamy or distance.

Someone who has ancestors that have been living in Ireland for a thousand years can be considered to be "pureblood Irish," despite having norse or saxon inbreeding. The Japanese are an example of a country that has near total racial homogeneity even to this day.

You can also look at groups like the igbo or san in Africa and trace mtdna haplogroups to see a surprising degree of constancy throughout tens of thousands of years despite being proximate to other wildly divergent genetic groups.

deleted 1 point ago
TheRover 10 points ago

Hawaiian judge agrees.

Ekgamut 9 points ago

That’s a really good satire. I really thought that it is real lmao.

ProphetOfKek 6 points ago

No, it’s not satire! Snopes will debunk it very shortly.

ChrisSuperDude 4 points ago

That's both a sad reflection of our society as well as a credit to the writers at Babylon Bee that I think a headline is 100% true until I see it's from them.

drsowells1fan 8 points ago

Speaking the King's English, maintaining an excellent credit score and enjoying country or classical music will also get your blackness revoked...

JoePCool14 3 points ago

Also not becoming addicted to drugs and/or alcohol, as well as maintaining a stable marriage. #YouAintBlack!

drsowells1fan 1 point ago

I'm gonna throw not being morbidly obese in there too.

monkadelic 2 points ago

Also having a father in the home

deleted 1 point ago
China_dindu_nuffin 5 points ago

I got one! ‘Dims propose bill to abort all babies conceived during Covid season, as parents failed to social distance.’

Fuck China and their Democrat allies! I travelled to the great state of Ohio, from Chicago (fuck Governor Tubs), to enjoy the opening of its bars. America is back bitches!

RenaissanceOfHope 2 points ago

You still live in Chicago?

China_dindu_nuffin 1 point ago

Yeah. We’re planning to get out within a year. But she’s got a good job, and I’m on furlough til Tubs opens it back up.

RenaissanceOfHope 2 points ago

What characteristics are you looking for in your next location?

Sit down with your wife & make individual lists of qualities you two want in your next region, whether it be culture, climate, size, industry, location or even amenities and go from there.

I’m from a mid size rapidly growing metro in the Bible Belt & I’m thinking of moving north in 5-10 years to a mega-city.

The only bad things about Chicago that scare me are the property taxes and lake effect that decreases the sunshine in the winter (lots of cold weather places like Denver get winter sun).

But then again, these lockdowns make Florida look appealing!

China_dindu_nuffin 1 point ago

Well thanks for the thoughts. Yeah Chicago’s bubble is likely bursting in the next few years with the pension liability and tax increases sure to come. Yeah any place with more sun and less taxes is on our radar.

sniffyJB 4 points ago

"Any other determiner of race is pure malarkey at this point"


Also, pretty sure West Virginia was never cotton growing country...

MatthewUSA 3 points ago

Okie now that is just stupid.

Nieking 2 points ago

What do you mean, "you people?" - Lincoln Osiris

ntvl [S] 2 points ago

My first sticky! I must go buy some lottery tickets!

Dialectic 2 points ago

Lmao savage

LaBrea 2 points ago


Jabron661 2 points ago

I am surprised the Hawaiian judge has not weighed in yet.

deleted 2 points ago
RichardNixon 1 point ago

So does that mean Shaun King is secretly on the Trump Train?

DukeDicky 1 point ago

OMG, the sad part is I read the title and thought it was real...

rootGoose 1 point ago

Proof that Biden has nuked himself.

Ritt777 1 point ago

Hahaha top kek

HiddenDekuScrub 1 point ago

Had a double take there. Poe's Law is getting scarier and scarier.

daomino 1 point ago

Biden logic: a man that claim he is a woman is a woman, but a black that supports trump is not black.

Azarak 1 point ago

Bwahahaha! Sadly, that is how the left thinks these days.

neurojerk 1 point ago

Ancestry.com must be run by Ben Affleck. We know he doesn't like those pesky genealogies.

Nellie_the_Beaut 1 point ago

“ancestry tests” are used to harvest and catalog your DNA to identify you for future nefarious purposes such as medical tests and organ harvesting. Do not volunteer your DNA to any corporation for any reason.

thisguy883 1 point ago

A true gem.

thisguy883 1 point ago

I already contacted Snopes to fact check this:


Futuramawe 1 point ago

Probably the work of stupid Romney.

FishStickIsles 1 point ago


What is sad is how little flack, if any, Biden will face for this from the Fake News media.

Trump would be dragged without mercy if he said it, all the way to November.