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In a tragic occurrence, the footage of Epstein's suicide attempt was found hanging in its cell Friday in an apparent suicide. The footage reportedly strung itself up with a strip of cloth, hanged itself from the ceiling, and then shot itself three times in the back of the cassette. (babylonbee.com) PARODY
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– lion_streezus (7 points) *

The Epstein tapes did not wipe themselves!

*spez* neither does Hillary!

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– fthecoup (3 points)

eeeewww muh hippocampus

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– Licensetomeme (2 points)

I was just about to write this, ffs. Stop retroactively stealing my jokes.

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